Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
“If I have done anything to offend you…..”
“Tell me what it is that I did!”
“You know I did that only because you did what you did….”
Stop right here.
Those are not good openings for doing this Step. In fact, if there were rules for doing this Step, these approaches break all of them, but they are common and frequent ploys for wiggling out of taking responsibility for the harm we have done to others.
The first one puts the burden on the offended party for being offended.
The second one makes the injured party do the work, setting up a line of defense in the offender.
The third approach places the blame on the person who has been harmed.