Practicing Resurrection: Working the Steps– Step 10, Part 2

Sometimes now, however, I ask another person (my sponsor, a trusted friend, etc.) to give me feedback.  Is this criticism or judgement about that person, or is this about me?  Sometimes it takes a lot of discernment to know what is projection and what is perception.

I often have to deal with my feelings about what that person said before I can adequately assess the fairness or truth about what the person has said.

Is my response instantaneous defensiveness and an unwillingness to see the truth about myself?

What is underneath my reaction?  Is it fear, anger, guilt or shame?  Does my insecurity make my reaction stronger than it ought to be?

Is the giver of the criticism someone I barely know or someone close to me?  Is it a repeat behavior or out-of-the-blue?

Does criticizing me seem to give the giver some kind of satisfaction?   Make him feel superior?  Does the person talk down to me or meet me                                 straight across as an adult, a loving friend, an authentic helper?

After I have worked with this event, can I shake it off, or does it continue to read its head, disturbing my peace?

Do I need to take the time and the trouble to talk through this problem the other person sees with my sponsor, or it is worth my time?                                           (If I shrug things off every time, I probably need to take a look at myself.)

And does my response become my hitting back, doing the other person’s inventory as a payback?

2 replies
  1. Marguerite Mchard
    Marguerite Mchard says:

    I was reading your most recent blog this afternoon. I so appreciate your honesty and wisdom, especially during these difficult times. Thinking of you and hope you are safe & well.



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